Saw the slash/fanfic quiz in desdenova’s post yesterday. I was repulsed, and yet I stared, perversely fascinated. So now I’ll see your weirdness, desdenova, and raise you my own results, behind the cut.

If you want to try it, follow these instructions before reading further:

First, write down the names of 12 characters. Then read and answer the questions. You can't look at the questions (or click on the cut) until you write down the 12 characters you're going to use.

People not into this kind of thing are welcome to go read something else.

My characters:

1. Buckaroo Banzai (The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension)
2. Avon (Blake’s 7)
3. Wolverine (Movie Version)
4. Warren Peace (Sky High)
5. Harry Potter (HP Book Series)
6. Miles Vorkosigan (Bujold Book Series)
7. Trinity (The Matrix)
8. Archie Goodwin (Nero Wolfe mysteries)
9. Elizabeth Bennett (Pride and Predjudice)
10. Wonder Woman (Comics and TV)
11. Agent Scully (X-Files)
12. Auron (Final Fantasy XX)


Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?
Miles/Scully: No. Miles would be happy about it, and Scully likes intense men with problems (who believe in aliens), but not sure it would turn me on.
Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Warren is hot in both the looks and temperature department.
What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Auron is not Archie’s type. Plus, the whole no ovaries thing.
Can you rec any fic(s) about Nine?
Well, she is from a “fic,” so yes. That aside, the book Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife is mainly about her sexual adventures, and very steamy. Bonus points for describing sex using Jane Austin language. Never read any fanfic about her, but I know there’s tons.
Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Avon and Miles. Hm. Well, Avon would appreciate Miles’ military acumen, but deplore his soft heart. Miles would understand Avon’s pain, and might be intrigued by his mysteriousness, but wouldn’t care for the treachery. In bed together? I think Avon/Tarrant is weirder, and there’s plenty of that around.
Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
Harry/Elizabeth Bennett or Harry/Wonder Woman? Harry/Wonder Woman all the way. She could teach him to be a man, oh yeah, and the golden rope brings up all sorts of subby possibilities.
What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
Oh my god. Trinity walking in on Avon and Auron. Talk about a room full of doms. I think the three of them would strap on all the spiked leather they could find, fight until they were lathered up, and then screw like bunnies. Much pain and joy would be had by all.
Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.
Wolverine/Wonder Woman. They run into each other fighting the same supervillain. He gets an eyeful of her breastplate; she notices the length and hardness of his claws. After they vanquish the enemy, their euphoria turns to rampant horniness, and they have torrid sex in her invisible plane, much to the enjoyment of the Justice League, who are monitoring the whole thing.
Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?
Buckaroo Banzai/Archie Goodwin: No, but now I have a horrible fascination with seeing some.
Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
Trinity/Auron. “My Final Fantasy” or “Broken Sword, Patent Leather.”
What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four to deflower One?
Warren Peace deflowers Buckaroo Banzai. Erm. It would be easier the other way around. OK. Warren says to Buckaroo, “Look, dude, a particle accelerator!”, then has his way while Buckaroo is busy recalibrating the machinery. Alternatively, Warren could capture Buckaroo because he thinks he helped incarcerate his father. He punishes him by having hot sex with him, and then comes the line, “What’s that watermelon doing there?” “I’ll tell you later.”
Mooooving on . . .
Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?
Trinity. Well folks, do you? She was way sexier than Neo in all those movies, you know it’s true.
Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
Wolverine. I guess the comic books sort of count. Anyone else got a thing for Wolverine they want to tell me about? And please say it’s the movie Wolverine and not the hairy comic book version.
Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
Scully. Well, no one on my friend list has ever shown me Scully slash or sketches, but I’d be happy to be surprised.
Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?
Avon/Warren Peace/Harry Potter. Hah. I dare someone to do this.
What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
Wonder Woman: “Give me your star-spangled banner, baby!”
If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, which song would you choose?
Archie Goodwin: Something jazzy and retro, like “It Don’t Mean a Thing, If It Ain’t Got That Swing.”
If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warnings be?
Buckaroo Banzai/Miles/Auron. Warning: Crossover, Supernatural Sex, Short/Tall, Multidimensional, Plain Fuckin’ Weird.
What might be a good pick-up line for Two to use on Ten?
Avon to use on Wonder Woman: “I had always considered patriotism to be a harbor for weak minds, but now I see it is also the crucible of strong bodies.”
When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
Harry Potter. I read The Half Blood Prince when it came out. I know there is loads of fanfic about Harry, (esp. “Snarry”) but Harry’s way to young for me to fantasize about. Not really interested in the non-sexual kind, at least as regards Harry. Maybe after all the books are done.